Dictionary for decoding women’s personal ads

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS:
>>> 40-ish…………………………..49.
>>> Adventurous………………….Slept with everyone.
>>> Athletic…………………………No breasts.
>>> Average looking……………..Moooo.
>>> Beautiful………………………..Pathological liar.
>>> Emotionally Secure………….On medication.
>>> Feminist…………………………Fat.
>>> Free spirit………………………Junkie.
>>> Friendship first………………..Former slut.
>>> New-Age………………………Body hair in the wrong places.
>>> Old-fashioned…………………No oral sex
>>> Open-minded………………….Desperate.
>>> Outgoing………………………..Loud and Embarrassing.
>>> Professional……………………Bitch.
>>> Voluptuous…………………….Very Fat.
>>> Large frame……………………Hugely Fat.
>>> Wants Soul mate……………..Stalker.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> LANGUAGE TRANSLATOR
>>>
>>> Women’s English:
>>> 1. Yes = No
>>> 2. No = Yes
>>> 3. Maybe = No
>>> 4. We need = I want
>>> 5. I am sorry = You’ll be sorry
>>> 6. We need to talk = You’re in trouble
>>> 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
>>> 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
>>> 9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
>>> 10. You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever
>>>think
>>>about?
>>>
>>> Men’s English:
>>> 1. I am hungry = I am hungry
>>> 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
>>> 3. I am tired = I am tired
>>> 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
>>> 5. I love you = Let’s have sex now.
>>> 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
>>> 7. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you.
>>> 8. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you.
>>> 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with
>>>you.
>>> 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with
>>>you.
>>> 11. I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit = I’ m gay

Tags: Hilarious Funny Forwards, What women really mean in their personal ads

Category: Hilarious Funny Forwards