A lawyers seasonal greeting card

The King of Funny Forwards | December 22, 2008 | 0 Comments

LAWYERS’ SEASONAL GREETING TO YOU!!
>
> From us (“the wishor”) to you (“hereinafter called the wishee”),
> please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes
> for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically
> correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the
> winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable
> traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular
> practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
> persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to
> practice religious or secular traditions at all… and a financially
> successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated
> recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008
> , but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures
> or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical
> ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary
> preference of the wishee.
>
> By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that-
>
> * This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.
>
> * This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration
> shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights
> of the wishor are acknowledged.
>
> * This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement
> any of the wishes.
>
> * This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or
> the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in
> certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the
> wishor.
>
> *This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected
> within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year
> or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever
> comes first.
>
> * The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement
> of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the
> wishor.
>
> * Any references in this greeting to “the Lord”, “Father Christmas”,
> “Our Saviour”, or any other festive figures, whether actual or
> fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from
> them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any
> referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.
>
> Regards,
>
> Domenic