The King of ForwardsFunny forwards that end up in your email inbox

More after the break

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1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, ”May I borrow a highlighter?”
2. ”Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that.”
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. ”Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.”
5. ”Damn, this water is cold.”
6. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
7. ”Now how did that get there?”
8. ”Hummus. Reminds me of hummus.”
9. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,”Whoa! Easy boy!!”
10. ” Interesting….more sinkers than floaters”
11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say,”Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?”
12. ”C’mon Mr. Happy! Don’t fall asleep on me!!”
13. ”Boy, that sure looks like a maggot”
14. ”Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?”
15. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
16. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your ”Cross-Dressers Anonymous” newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
17. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, ”Peek-a-boo!”
18. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing ”Born Free.”

NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES!

Due to the hard economic times and otherwise depressing state of the world today, all personnel will now be required to at least look happy while working.
Company-approved supplies will be provided to each employee at little or no cost.

* Workloads getting to you?
* Feeling stressed?
* Too many priorities and assignments?

Here is the new low-cost, company-approved solution to cope with multiple priorities and assignments!

Each employee will be supplied 2 paper clips and rubber bands. (See Fig 1.)

Assemble items as shown in Fig 2.

Apply as shown in Fig 3.

Enjoy your day. This new office equipment will help you to reach the end of a productive work day with a smile on your face!

The Management

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